I think I'll just give up right now.

Isn't it great being a teenage girl.
With emotions?
I know, you're all very jealous.
Or sympathetic.
Or laughing at my amazing lameness.

Oh well, anyway, storytime children...
There was once a male named Nathan. Now Nathan once had a 'thing' for my friend Melanie. She did not like him like that at all though Then he met me.
For a while it was all good, we were friends, then we were a little more than friends, and I didn't tell many people, because, well, he just wasn't someone you did that with.... So anyway, after a while, I was a lot over this whole 'open relationship' thing, and wished he'd leave me alone. Then one day, he said we should just be friends.
How great, you would think. but afterwards, I was in love with him. What the fuck? My head, very messed up.
I wonder why on Earth I would feel like this? Did I just like feeling wanted? or was I in love the whole time? But anyway. I only had to wait a few weeks till an innocent movie watching seesion at his house became something much more awkward.

I tried texting him a few times afterwards, but he was kinda weird so I stopped trying.
I didn't talk to him for about 4 months.

Then one day, he spoke to me again. And wanted to hang out again. I was completely over him.
But seems like he wasn't over me. So he flirted a lot over text whilst drinking. Always wanted to go for walks and wanted to see me constantly. I just wanted a friend.

Now, the trouble with me, is that I am too nice for my own good. It's usually a good thing. I can see the good in almost anyone, and I don't think Inhave ever hated anyone. But when it comes to being brutally honest. Well, that cjust goes out the window. So put up a stupid charade for a few weeks, then after a brief kiss (nothing major at all) he decided to just be friends again.
And guess how I feel now?

Why?

Stalking and Houseplants

Hello nobody.
Hello me.

I wonder if I am a stalker sometimes. I mean, sure, stalking is supposed to be aainst the law, but I still worry about myself. You see, only for curiosity's sake, I used Google Earth in order to find the house of the K (whose address I looked up in the white pages, good thing his last nake isn't too common). But of course they cut out that tiny chunk of his street. Now that was freaky, since almost our entire town is mapped:s.

But anyway, back to the main topic, am I a stalker? I am now in a class with him, which makes me very happy (I was beginning to get worried as our English classes of 2007 came to a close) and I listen to every word he says.

We did have the briefest of conversations, discussing an eraser and an English teacher. Then afterwards, through intently listening to conversations, found out he DOES in fact have a girlfriend.

The world has ended.

I am so weird and sad...

=(

I think the only thing left for me to do is to turn to my houseplant. I have christened him Gareth, and I have not killed him yet. I found him, a tiny little cluster of leaves and a pathetic little flower, growing in the garden. so I scooped him up, placed him in a seldom used jug.
And he is probably going to grow out of his little jug soon (it only holds 250mls afterall). He is far more interesting than my sisters cactus, which I poke, as it insn't to spiky, what a pussy cactus.

At least they're fun to take photographs of.

I never did mention, though I feel I am inclined to, that the two disguisting Males I discussed in my previous post are in fact befriended to the K. I now regret not saying anything. If there is one thing I can say about myself, I am opinionated, but I do not speak my mind.. It can be quite an issue sometimes.

Now, it is far past midnight thirty, and to be honest, even though I am now on school holidays (happy dances) I think I should sleep. The only problem is I will probably wake up early, like I did this morning ( or yesterday morning, i think. it is 1.13 am afterall). But I do need to get up earlyish. Gotta go buy a Kriskringle present. And I got no clue what to buy, I am truly a lost cause when it comes to things like this. It's for someone I work with, and I don't know her terribly well so we'll see how it goes at any rate.

So, my distant, abstract cyberspace, do bid you farewell.
Goodnight.

Being a nerd

Yo bloggy.

Being a nerd is a lot of fun really. Last week I visited a university for a camp thing, and had to make a detour to a school music concert (bonus points for the badn geeks). I now just recieved *official* notification that I am a nerd via a scholars (not scholarship, I repeat, not scholarship)program thing that I applied for.
And I got in cos I'm awesome=]

Today, however, I was angry.
In my graphics class, two disguisting males spent a large portion of the class antagonising and patronising a nerd(one of which I do not know, but that is beside the point). Maybe it made them feel awesome or something, I don't know. However it amused me that one day those loserheads will probably be working for a nerd. Oh the irony of it all hehehe.

Anyway, to all you wonderful people out there with nerdlike leanings such as myself, here is why we are awesome..

• You're probably gonna make a lot of money one day


• You have much more purpose in life that kicking a ball


• Getting a sickie is easy, everyone will believe you, you love school afterall, right?


• Uni is bound to have a lot of hot (and nerdy!)guys and chicks


• You can enter the school library without being shunned by friends


• You actually understand Einsteins theory of Relativity...mostly


• It's easy to get a job


• You're mum thinks you're cool


• You type in a very gramatically correct way (well that's a plus for me at least


• There are actually a lot of people who like adorable nerdiness more that jock manliness


• Teachers can be cool sometimes:)


• You're allowed to feel interlectually superior


Well I hope that has been enlightening to all.
I am going to sleep. Gotta be up bright and early for school tomorrow:)

Things to do in an exam room after the actual exam.

Things to do in an exam room after finishing the exam

So you have just finished your cooking exam, or you are on the verge of tears after giving up on your maths exam. It's 2.15, and you're stuck here for another 45 mins.

What can you do?

Well, you could...

Name the contents of your pencil case.

Play the "who would you most want to make out with who is in the exam room if there was no such thing as social repercussions" game.

Stare at the back of someones head, see if they notice.

Write a letter to the examiner on a piece of paper.

Origami.

Rock on your chair.

Start looking really stressed and panicked. see if any teachers pay any attention to you.

Count your teeth.

Try to make eye contact with someone (not recommended for year 12 exams).

Imagine the big important english teacher pacing the room is walking in lava.

Or doing your maths exam. hehe

Make a little dancing dude in the corner of all the pages of a text book.

Remmove your shoes.

Start scratching compulsively.

Start mouthing satanic incantations at your exam paper.

Sleep.

Actually finish the exam!

Me, myself and the K.

Ok, so two blog posts in one day, it's getting pretty extreme, but then again, people are allowed to write in their diary rather erratically, right?
Well, I feel I have to inform (myself?) about the K, otherwise known as Tall Green Male, Tall Dark Male, Tale Green Cat and Kenneth.
My dear old friend Romy is now over her K (Kyle) and is now infatuated with my K's best friend (we think..) joey.
But I had my last ever english class, and Kenneth hadn't been there all week. Snd I won't be in an english class with him next year, becasue I am a little year 10, who did year 11 english this year, and who is doing year 11 literature. He will do year 12 english. I will never have reason to talk to him again.
And I was oh so looking forward to oral presentations. We were having 'psuedo-conversations', and that would have been lots of fun, discussing abortions, sheep getting their arses hacked off and children posing in magazines.
But his myspace says he is single.
Oh dear, I think I might cry everywhere. Sigh.

Today, as I said was the english exam. And now, our relationship is over. Or somewhat.

And his hair isn't green anymore!
And I hope he never ever finds this..

Yay for exams.

Should die.
The end.

Well actually, I think I might write more than that, afterall, that would be a very boring blog post.
mind you, nobody reads it anyway, so whateves.
So yes, had english, which I am normally good at. Not today, whoops.
Graphics on the other hand, was relatively easy. I got to draw tomatoes=]
So what if someone told me a little of what was going to be on the exam? hehehe, it's not my fault.
But right now, having studied a-pleny for biology, I really ought to be doing mathematics. It is only a year 10, opposed to Biology, but the teacher is being evil and is doing freaky teacher things with it...
But I am waging a personal war against quadratics and indices. So I am not in the mood in a any shape or form to study it, much less make my cheat sheet.
I started it, but gave up when something didn't work. Darn those x-intercepts and quadratic formula.
Oh gosh.

So I went outside and took some photos instead. I must say, that was much more satisfying than null factor laws and negative indices. Turns out my old shite-tastic camera has a lot of amusing features. I love it when stuff like that happens.


I wish I could...
I was going to write something amazing just then. But I have forgotten. I had to look for a flat phone. Stupid father.
Wow, amazing how some things can be so easily lost.
I feel so fragile now.
oh woe.



Let us make a list:

Current obsessions:
Supermacro shots on my camera.
Vests.
Studying.
Making Trailers.
HTML.
Unusually flavoured objects.
Magic Mountain (the tv show). dragon is so hardcore.
Codecs!!

Well, better get back to studying
Bye bye blog
x

Just junk from in ma head

Dearest neglected blog,
I hope that we can still be friends after the long months that seem to extend between our relationship.
So yes, It is almost exam time. And I think that I am going to just not do them, because I am stupid and they are all horrible. Well actually, no not really, but I do wonder sometimes what would happen if I did, considering my goody-goody, stand out nerdy student reputation.
Could make for a good laugh really.

I am very tired at the moment, owing to the lack of sleep (well duh) over the last week. It has all been because of the amazing movie that I have been up allnight editing, nly because it is amazing. So it was for school, and about drugs, namely LSD, but it was better that all those disguisting, cliched movies that others made with internet photographs.
Ours was an original screenplay.
"My first feature film!"

Anyway, completely off the topic.
Have you ever wondered what people woulod write about in a newspaper if you died?
Afterall, any kid that has died in some freak accident, or a car crash or something, always has a million people sayin how amazing they were.
I do find it hard to imagine that every single kid who got beat up at a bar, or was speeding in their car was sweet, caring and amazing.
Maybe only wonderful people ever die? Oh woe..:(
So I do wonder, what what they write about me? It freaks me out a little.

Now, for any nerds here, here is my off the topic speed of light theorisiing (assuming that is a word of course:)
Well I started reading some article, theough I never finished it, about the speed of light. So supposedly, nothing can travel faster that the speed opf light, as the energy required would be greater that all the energy in the universe.
So if there is two beams of light coming at each ther, travelling at a constant velocity of the spped of light, then aren't they technically going faster than the speed of light?
Hmm...

well that is all for tonight, I shall speak to you again soon I hope.
So long, my friend.

Filming...

Dearest Blog.
I have had an, interesting (possibly not the best word), last few days filming a school project. For a very pointless subject and very much over the top, we have employed male actors who cannot act, who work on wages of McDonald's cheeseburgers (with bacon!)
It is (not surprisingly) difficult to control teenage boys.
As Romy said: I now know what is like to be a mother. Don't touch that. No, put that down, Stay there!
Me: Only problem is, they are physically stronger than us-_-

So anyway, my home has been filled with random people who have starred in the movie. Today we filmed death scenes and lip synching, two very important parts. Of course, any movie about LSD needs death scenes and Lip Synching=]
WE have visited a police station, jumped of roofs, jumped on trampolines, murdered a pie by the name of sprinkles, all normal things of course.

At the present, parents are outside having a social gathering, and I have become bored and come inside to blog. Just what everyone does on a Saturday night of course. That and Msning, it is what all the cool people do after all.
And yes, coming back to the cruise, I am still being too lazy to write a fuller account. Plus I had an English essay to rewrite, because it was 'a surprisingly shallow explaination. You can do better'. Erg

And silly work has me working tomorrow, so I am off
Goodnight Blog, sleep well x

daylight savings sucks...

Well so does my work roster. It makes me misread it and as a result, make me turn up for work an hour and half earlier. Oh Bother. So I decided to make a new post about it:)
Plus with stupid daylight savings, it's technically two and a half hours earlier, or so it feels. Ick
So out of all the things I could have done with an extra hour and a bit, I decided to do Enlish homework. Yipee. 'In wartime, the people who suffer the most are usually the non-combatants. Discuss.'
I hate essays.
But of course, I clearly gave up on it, after all I'm here, right?
Urrg, I need to sleep more. Though last night was hardly my fault. My cat was sleeping on my bed. It had a bad dream and leapt off my bed. It used my left arm and my chest as a launching pad. And now it just looks like I have serious self-harm issues:D But it bloody hurt. Cat's back claws are blunter than their front I have discovered. So their not sharp, you say, they mustn't be so bad? Wrong. Flesh has been stripped from my bones, and it ain't pretty.

Stupid cat.

Home again.

Hello cyberspace, nice to see you again.

I'm home again after my little family holiday on a not so little cruise ship. I'll have a full account of my adventures a little later on, but at present, I'm a little tired.
However I'll give you an ever so brief run down in case you're interested...
we left Sydney on he 23rd of September some time in the afternoon. In between then and the 3rd of October there were happenings aplenty:
My two sisters and myself were registered for 'Teen Lounge'. What a hoot it was... There were two groups, the egoccentric 'orgy club' and co., with their intentions mostly on hooking up with one another. Then the stragglers/nerds/non-participants who came along in dribs and drabs who never really made friends. Guess which group I was in?
One of the most amazing things was the proverbial sugar sachets. Every single one had a little saying printed on it. How cool. So yes, I collected them. All but one however, I missed it and it was very sad. But it now brings my hallowed collection to 21.
We vistited 4 islands of varying interest. I went snorkelling and was attacked by either jellyfish or sea lice. That's right. They have lice. In the sea. But we decided they were jelly fish. Rows of itchy little dots all over me. Fun. Jellyfish are meant to sting, not itch!
Weather was pretty good. Terrible for the first few days but good after that. It had been fine for ages leading up to the cruise but of course it is bound to all turn to crap when it's our turn.
Also I was stuck in a little cabin with two sisters due for their rags. If there is a hell, I have just found it.
I also got a to have alcohol on the cruise, albeit a very small amount, but I didn't care. Yes, I am a good little teenager and who listens to her mother:D
Shh, just don't tell anyone...

We didn't get home till really late. Melbourne traffic is a nightmare. And It was rainy and cold. And our suitcases were in a trailer.
It was interesting to say the least. I was glad to be home, and to have my own bed. Most of my dreams whilst on the cruise were terrible, repeatitive ones of being on the cruise.
Last night in my own bed I dreamed about the cooking show Ready Steady Cook, a bratty child similar to my next door neighbour making mischief in a castle and someone was making a go-kart but she was using shoes for wheels, and it didn't work. My best friend also got dumped by her boyfriend. It was a nice relief from the terrible night's sleep I'd been having on the cruise. I still think I'm weird though:)
Anyway, I'll have a fullaccount later on, mind you this post ended up being pretty long anyway. Maybe I'll do it in two parts...
Well till then,
Au revoir.

Sad old me...

I said that I might post my dream journal online, but as of yet, I have been to lazy to write it down.
But last night's dream (or at least the tiny portion of it I can actually remember) was truly tragic. The male whom I am secretly in love with had put more clour in his hair and was being horrible. oh woe me.
A little background information perhaps?
Well this male, who from here on in shall be referred to as Kenneth (not real name)along with Kyle (also not real name**) are the males that a friend (Romy) and I like. Oh such sad pathetic teenagers we are...
Well she had been habouring this hopeless love for Kyle for many months, despite not speaking to him more often than every few weeks or so. He shares an English class with Kenneth and myself. This means Romy is rather jealous....
So fast forward a few weeks, and it is formal night. Kyle is there, but *sob* Kenneth is nowhere to be seen. Tonight really was the night for rejection. Romy was left alone with Kyle...

'Hey, I really like you...'
'What?'
'I REALLY LIKE YOU'
'Really'
(nooo...) 'yes'
'why'
(cue akwardness)
'I don't know! I just do'
'I don't think it will work out...' *CRY*
'Ok, well I'll just casually walk this way'
Oh the dramas of highschool. I know that your heart bleeds for her.
On the same night, the endless obsessive love of one friend was shattered when the male revealed he was gay. (not entirely sure if it was true or if it was to get rid of her, which would have been much worse. And someone else was in tears. I find it amazing that all in all, it was actually still a good night.

Anyway, back to Kenneth.

That night, however I had another terrible dream. I was doing my Vis Comm assignment in the hall where the formals was, stressing and unable to finish it, Kenneth was there, and then he wasn't, then he didn't care, then there was someone pretending to be him, and I couldn't print and, oh dear...:(
Now one girl, a friend of Romy and her posse was asked out by Kenneth. That's right, it was horrid, truly horrid. But I was overjoyed in a kind of pitying kind of way when she told him to get lost.
Now I fear that considering the reccent rejections, I wonder if I should follow suit with 'affirmative action', as it may end in tears. However I do know now that he goes for somewhat nerdy year 10 females, which is a bonus for me.
Now since Romy was rejected, she is in denial and has a developed a so far unobsessive attraction toward Joey. Who happens to be Kenneths part-time friend (score:)) Perhaps not all hope is lost.

But now it is the holidays, and I shan't see him for two weeks... But I have a holiday coming up. One a rather large boat. With many people. Perhaps I can move on for a brief few days. sigh...

Well that turned out to be a very unusual first dream journal posting indeed...
Goodbyeee




**Nothing is ever real. I have learnt that form other's mistakes. I have also learned never to google friend's names in too much detail. You can reveal blogs written about them by others that we know. (but they used full names, I mean, come on, you're asking for trouble.)
So hence, if I am to actually keep on going with the blog (which I doubt I will anyway). I may as well keep anonymity for the sake of all involved.

First post, woo

Good evening blog, nice to meet you.
I hope that we can be friends. Because otherwise I'll probabl never see you again, and one day delete you. I'm sorry, it's true...

Well right now it's just gone 2:01 am. I should probably be in bed, were it not for my addiction to staring at this stupid computer screen. Oh, well, all in due time.

Well that's enough general crapping around. I feel like making a list...

-THINGS I WISH I NEVER KNEW...-
1) What red food dye is made out of.
2) Cold tea goes lumpy when left out for a few days.
3) That rubbing cats at the end of their back gets them horny
4) That tongues and freezers should never EVER mix
5) Anthing about algebra
6) That there could be multiverses...
7) How my parents made me
8) That I cannot sing
9) That Santa wasn't real:(
10) How quickly I can run out of things to say.

Well that was fun.
Maybe I'll post my dream journal online. It's so weird that I'm sure at least someone will be entertained by it.

Well, until if there is a next time, cheerio